Untitled

jif-directioners:

A/N: Here is the links to the other chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Chapter 5
Rosalie’s POV
I grabbed my Iphone and went upstairs to my bedroom again and sat down on the bed. I opened twitter again and read the new mean comments. Such things like the boys didn’t really love me, they just adopted me for publicity. Was that true? They told me to leave them alone, to leave this world. Didn’t they understand that leaving this world was one thing I really wanted to.
I put my phone down and looked around, on my desk was my songbook, I grabbed it and decided to write a song. I looked at the clock, it was 6.18pm.
I knew exactly what I was going to write about, so it didn’t take that long to finish it, I sat down at the piano and stared to play and sing.
(A/N: I didn’t write this song, it’s from a Swedish girl, it’s her song, I just translated it and changed some of the lyrics)

Now I don’t care anymore
Why should I stay?
The only thing I hear is lies
You say; “It will be okay, you will be all right”
I know you lie, cause now one can love me
I’ve tried so many times
I’ve wait for the time
But I can’t take it anymore, can’t you see I’m suffering?
Please take me away from here
Away from this world
To a beautiful place, with no pain
I cry every day, but I try to smile
Now I’m gonna stop trying, nothing’s gonna be okay
It feels like the end now
My tears are too many
It would be better if little Rosie died

Fly away, and please take away the pain
Don’t go back, to the shadows
Fly away, and please take away the pain
Don’t go back, to the shadows

Why are you lying to me lads? No one can love me
Have you seen my soul?
Then you know how much pain I carry
In my heart it’s just deep wounds
Time can’t heal everything
It feels like everything is over
I’m at the bottom of the ocean
Everything feels worthless, I just wanna get away
To the other side of the sky
So I can be happy and smile again
I wish I was never born, now I just want to disappear
Whatever I do, I’m never good enough

Fly away, and please take away the pain
Don’t go back, to the shadows
Fly away, and please take away the pain
Don’t go back, to the shadows

I’m worthless, so who would care?
If I disappeared one day, no, no one would miss me
You wouldn’t have to deal with my problems
It feels like everything is my fault
I love you lads, but what am I going to do?
To get away from here is the only thing I want to
It’s horrible to feel like this
There is nothing you can do
Shall I live or die?
Do I even have a choice?
I want to go to heaven, and stay there forever
Never come back to this world again
I want to fly away
Fly away

I realized I was crying. I walked over to the big mirror on the wall and lifted up my shirt a little. The words on my stomach looked like they were shining. Worthless, ugly, unloved, fat, disgusting, mistake. No I did not carve them in on my stomach, it was my dad. That was just one of those things he did to me just cause he was bored.
It was all too much, I had to do something! I searched through my jeans I still hadn’t unpack and found it, a razor. I walked to the bathroom, locked the door behind me and sat down on the floor. I brought the razor to my wrist and cut two deep cuts. I almost screamed but stopped myself, I didn’t want them to hear me. I stared at the cuts, they were pretty small, but deep. Next to all these other cuts. I started to feel dizzy. I closed my eyes and rested my head to the wall. Suddenly I heard a voice.
“Ready to give up huh?” I opened my eyes and almost screamed again. It was him. My father. Of course not the real him, but it was him in a ghost shape. Smirking at me. I had almost forgotten that smirk. I knew it was just me hallucinating, but was so real!
“Finally you’re giving up! Thank you for letting me win this Rosie! You’re such a looser.” He kneeled down at me, his face just inches away from mine.
“Die. Die. Die!” He whispered. No, no! That was what he wanted, I was not letting him win this.
My ghost dad rose one hand and slapped me, he was not real so it wouldn’t have felt anything, but it felt like my cheek was burning. I screamed. His hand around my bleeding wrist, it was like he was forcing the razor closer to my other wrist. He laughed at me.
“No! No! STOP!!!!” I screamed, at him closing my eyes, my body shaking violently.” HELP ME! NIALL! HAAAARRY! ZAYN! LOUIS! LIAAAM.” I didn’t care if they didn’t love me or not, I needed them to save me from my dad.
His laugh died and I opened my eyes again he was gone. But I could still hear the voices in my head. Screaming at me, to kill myself, and screaming all those mean things anyone ever said to me. All those voices echoing in my head. And the faces of my dad and stepdads in front of my eyes. I screamed and screamed the voice still in my head.
But all the sudden I heard a loud bang and the door flew open I turned my head to look there and saw my dad, again, together with four others of himself. Five copies of my dad. I frowned but as they all rushed over to me I started to scream again.
“No dad don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please!!!!” I cried and closed my eyes. Now I felt the pain in my wrist, I clenched my fists, but that was clearly a mistake. I felt an outstanding pain in my right palm. I still had my razor in that hand! I screamed in pain and opened my eyes. In front of me wasn’t five copies of my dad. It was Harry, Niall, Louis, Zayn and Liam.

Omgg u eeeda right more that was amazing

yer-a-wizard-harry-styles:

Not to be perverted I can see the bulge in his pants lol

(via abloggingdirectioner)

thebestof1dbaby:

princessnandi:

mariesmellsofcarrots:

I’m a Directioner…… on @weheartit.com - http://whrt.it/Y1mCxa

I’m calm

PREACH SISTA

I am